The good news is that Madam X has stopped short her Himalayan vacation, come out of retirement, and is back in the Heart of the Mojave to help unravel a cryptid mystery that has entangled us so far this spring.
Please DO NOT MAKE ME CALL THE FLYING MONKEYS …
Yes, dear reader, that is an exact quote from Madam X when we finally reached her via satellite phone in Tibet.
Did we say CRYPTID?
There have been a recent absolute spate of crazy eye witness reports, even a corner out of the eye witness report, and two terribly loud and audible sound reports of Bigfoot in Arizona.
Here at Desert X Files, we do not get much call for the Bigfoot sightings.
Yes, yes, of course there is the Yucca Man thing over there in Joshua Tree National Park and that vicinity. Is that even real, Madam X muses, having spent considerable time as a youth in the area and NEVER ONCE spotted anything even remotely resembling a man with shaggy fur/plant hair.
Then there is CEMENT MAN over in the Anza Borrego region. We have never met EVEN ONE PERSON who claims to have seen Cement Man. If he exists – and in Madam X’s opinion that is a big fat IF – then he is probably not a Bigfoot but another type of humanoid cryptid. Maybe something related to GOATMAN of La Paz Valley.
BUT WE DIGRESS …
Reports of hairy upright creatures started coming in during January of 2018. We were swamped and unable to get to all the emails and phone calls.
Below are the most credible reports. And by credible we mean that the witnesses do not have a police record, have no history of drinking and drugs, not given to conspiracy theories, and seem relatively stable.
Sorry, but its US, the staff. We can only report on the most believable of these sightings after all. Names below are all changed to protect the witnesses.
CASE #1: FLAGSTAFF ARIZONA – March 2018
Mr. Ronaldo Weebs of Phoenix was staying in a hotel in Flagstaff with his wife, drinking coffee at dawn, as is his usual routine. Mrs. Weebs was getting ready in the bathroom to go to breakfast in the lobby and then to a meeting in the hotel at 9:00 am. Mr. Weebs is retired and in no hurry for anything, just sitting enjoying his coffee.
He heard a noise outside and looked around to the side and caught sight of something BIG, BROWN, AND HAIRY. Incredibly enough, he recognized it as a Bigfoot, just like in cartoons and movies.
Prior to this moment, Mr. Weebs had not thought about Bigfoot one way or the other. He gave it no thought whether it was true or false, hoaxed or unhoaxed.
Flabbergasted, he yelled for Mrs. Weebs who ran out from the bathroom to see what was the matter. Unfortunately, this spooked the Bigfoot and he hastily beat a retreat around the side of the hotel into the wooded area beyond the hotel.
Mr. Weebs did go out later to look for hair caught on branches or other signs of BF. Scat perhaps? But found nothing and there was no snow on the ground at that time which might reveal footprints.
Mr. Weebs insists to this day that he saw a large Bigfoot behind the hotel in Flagstaff Arizona.
Who are we to call LIAR LIAR.
CASE 32: COTTONWOOD ARIZONA – March 2018
Mrs. Valerie Pinecroft lives with her husband, Egar, and dog, Snips, in a very nice home in a residential subdivision just outside of Cottonwood, Arizona. The area backs up to federal land, a desert oasis which then backs up to mountains. They and their neighbors experience all types of wildlife in their yard – bobcats, javalina, coyotes, skunks. It is a beautiful rural area.
Mrs. Pinecroft was taking Snips outside for an evening “call to nature.” It was 3:00 am and the motion sensor light immediately blasted on, flooding the entire back yard and part of the neighbor’s yard with light.
A deep, horrific howl immediately emanated from the neighbor’s side yard, the site of a large decorative fountain that bobcats and javalinas drink from.
PAY ATTENTION warns Madam X. The area had been dry and the fountain is a known area for having an animal presence at night.
Surely YOU SAY, this was an ELK?
Mrs. Pinecroft heard an elk perhaps. They make a large noise when rutting.
OF COURSE, OF COURSE, we did ask Mrs. Pinecroft about whether this could possibly be an elk. She flatly denied that it was an elk. It turns out Mrs. Pinecroft is a student of nature and often studies animals in the wild from a distance. She claims that she has heard elk bugling on numerous occasion and that they are never this low pitched.
We asked the usual suspects.
Nope nope nope nope.
We might discount Mrs. Pinecroft as a hysterical female, given to fanciful imaginations – IF THIS WERE THE YEAR 1895 – which it is not. Nor is Mrs. Pinecroft a drinker, heavily medicated, or even a purveyor of medical marijuana.
Mrs. Pinecroft, for all purposes, is very stable, and logical, an administrator in a local and very large nonprofit agency. Mrs. Pinecroft has never believed in UFOs, conspiracy theories, or even Bigfoot. But yet she says now that BIGFOOT is all it could be.
We would probably leave it there if only Egar had not heard and experienced the exact, same thing, and now we have …
CASE #3 COTTONWOOD ARIZONA – March 2018
After receiving the report of Case #2, we were digesting all of this, when we get a call one week later from Egar Pinecroft, Mrs. Pinecroft’s husband.
Taking Snips the dog for the nightly 3:00 am doggie doo, the motion sensor light flips on, and WOOO WOOOO HOOOWLLLLL goes out reverberating throughout the neighborhood.
Mr. Pinecroft described it “as the most God AWFUL noise I have ever heard.”
He, too, said it was no bear or deer or mountain lion, and certainly not an elk. Nothing to compare it to, he claims. Horrific howling as though it is is pain or horrified itself.
Mr. Pinecroft’s only explanation: Yavapai Bigfoot.
BUT NOW THINGS GET REALLY WEIRD …
CASE #4 COLORADO RIVER Late March 2018
Mrs. Nelda Nobley, age 70, is walking her dog at dawn in an area along the Colorado River called the Parker Strip. Mrs. Nobley is a winter visitor and stays in an RV park in this area every winter with her husband, Alton. They go back to Oregon the first of April. This is the last weekend in March and she is trying to enjoy one last glimpse of water fowl along the Colorado.
She told us excitedly that she had seen swans the the month before!
Mrs. Nobley carries binoculars with her wherever she goes.
She spots what appears to be a rather hairy, tan-colored Yeti or Bigfoot. Mrs. Nobley said it was not dark brown, like you see in the drawings of Bigfoot but a lighter tan color.
Yucca Man? Madam X somehow doubts it.
The creature appeared on the opposite shore, California, and casually walked (on two legs) to the shoreline between mobile homes and palm trees, got down on all fours, and drank like a dog out of the Colorado River. Mrs. Nobley specifically pointed out that he did not cup his hands to drink like a human would, but drank like an animal. Yet walked upright, almost like a human.
The creature then got back up and walked back as casually as he had come.
Mrs. Nobley said that the ape-man was not as tall as Bigfoot is portrayed as. This creature was certainly under 6 feet height. Also his head was not oval like you see with Bigfoot but rounder. This Desert Yeti (as we have christened him) was stockier and shorter than one thinks of Bigfood, according to Mrs. Nobley.
THE DESERT YETI
What is it? Who can say. Part Yucca Man, part Goatman. We certainly DO NOT KNOW.
It was actually, the appearance of the Desert Yeti that brought Madam X back to these hallowed shores.
As we said, she was trekking in the Himalayans doing her own Yeti research. This was all totally unknown to us as we thought she was simply retired enjoying her twilight years by eating ghee in a yurt somewhere.
By the time we were able to get in touch with Ms. X, Case #4 had occurred. Madam X perked up at the thought of the Desert Yeti.
WHY CHANGE THE NAMES OF THE WITNESSES?
Why indeed? Why don’t the witnesses shout what they saw from the tree tops?
You know why, gentle reader, if you have ever seen an anomaly of any type.
Madam X herself has suffered the humiliation of revealing her strange sightings to family and friends only to be ridiculed by those she loves best.
WE DO NOT RIDICULE. SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US.
You may not understand what you saw or be able to process what you saw. We may not either. Maybe not even (gasp) Madam X!
We can not promise you closure. Or anything really …
Except that we will believe and we will try to share your story as space permits.
If you have seen a Desert Yeti, Bigfoot, or any type of cryptid recently, think about sharing with us at this email address:
madamxfiles AT gmail DOT com
All information remains confidential. If we use your story, your name will never be released. We will change all identifying characteristics. We will NEVER give out your address as some more unscrupulous investigators have.
THANK YOU to all our many readers who have an interest in the bizarre and unusual.
YOURS IN SEMI- SCIENTIFIC INVESTIGATION,
and her faithful assistant, Usuri Moray